Wednesday, June 30, 2010

My Facebook status

It's always a nostalgic, sentimental journey to go back and revisit old memories, familiar places and old friends.

What's sad to realize is that that saying is right: "You cannot cross the same river twice."

You cannot go back on your choices. What you left behind, you left behind for a reason. And even if you try to go back, you just can't bring yourself to be as naive or innocent as before.

I spent the day visiting with old friends because there was a lousy person that made me wait the whole day. What sucks is that I didn't even have to be there and that I wasted time and effort to be there.

I wouldn't have minded as much if I didn't have a 6-year-old in tow. Thank goodness the people I was visiting were ever patient with my hyper, sociable little beetle boy.

It hurts to always be taken for granted. It sucks when people treat you like garbage because they don't think your time is as valuable as theirs. It makes me angry to wonder what the hell I did to deserve such lousy treatment. And it is humbling to always be put in my place, whether deserved or not.

Every time I spend time waiting on end, whether it's for an inconsiderate a*hole or even just waiting behind a long line at the bank, I keep wondering if I'll spend the rest of my life doing this. Waiting and waiting. For a person that never comes. For dreams that exist but never come true. For a better world. For more decent people.

And then I crash back to reality.

The world is not perfect. True. And it is full of both good and bad people. Matt even goes so far as to label people "good guys" or "bad guys".

But I guess so long as I keep true to myself, to my faith, to my clear conscience, I cannot regret anything. Even a seemingly wasted day like this.

I met up with some old dear friends and had fun chatting. Matt made some new friends and had the most fun than he's had in a while.

Forget about the a*hole. And move on. Chalk it up to experience.

And I'm definitely counting my blessings that I have these two wonderful boys to love and be loved in return.

Praise God.


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